ForgottenDawn's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Starchasers AIM 2014]

I think that the fundamental problem with this piece is the lack of a solid atmosphere and depth. While it has a very basic structure with the intro setting a somewhat interesting sound despite being very stripped down, it also sounds as if you diluted the same few riffs for minutes and minutes, droning into an abyss of repetition that fails to deliver an engaging experience. It's not even about dissonance: it's lack of substance.

If you elaborated the track by adding more instruments, possibly rhythmic synths, textures and sounds that could have enhanced your storytelling, it might have been an interesting space ambiance. Repetition should be avoided if it can't sustain itself enough to be considered immersive, and it's a shame because I liked the "analog" feel of the track, but it sounds like an idea that needs further revision and polish.

//FD

[Real Life Absurdities]

Fact is, I really enjoyed this. It evokes many childhood memories and it's something this track is able to convey quite remarkably, in my opinion. While the structure seems sort of minimalist with a few variations on the same theme, it is indeed a solid piece where its minor problems would only be related to a coherency of sound compared to the overall mastering of the track (too much reverb on the brass instruments compared to the percussion?) which is at a professional level. So well done, good luck in this round and I'm glad to have a worthy opponent.

steampianist responds:

its always heart warming (if i had one) to know that people are reminded of their childhood!
and i love minimalism (erik satie)

ah it seems you are not sure? if the brass reverb is too much? hehe kidding anyways thanks for listening and im glad you enjoyed it, that was unexpected considering the kind of music you make and im looking forward to your track

[Ling Kano's Fighting Show]

I can see an improvement from your first round entry, as I think this track feels more coherent and solid as a whole, with a jungle-like atmosphere that is definitely spot on - nostalgic, if you'd like, sending me back to the '90s speaking of video games and why not, TV shows. I've never seen the series you took inspiration from, but overall I think this track is pretty well made with some minor problems related to EQ and transitioning which may feel a bit jarring/sudden to the ear.

SourJovis responds:

Not sure if it's improvement. I'm still on the same level. It's just a coincidence I did something different this time. The style is more continuous but that's one of the reasons why this song is shorter. The production of this was much harder than that of the first round. Hopefully people like this better. I'm not at all sure myself. The transitions were a problem from the start. I think I fixed them quite well compared to how they were, but it's still not perfect. The panning volumes and EQing were also difficult. You can work for days on a song without hearing anything wrong with it only to discover some settings should've been very different all along. When you change one thing, you have to change a cascade of other things. Creating music made me stop believing in perfection. I hope I can later fix some of the flaws.

[Fisherman's Fantasy]

I definitely enjoyed the atmosphere throughout the song, and well, I definitely didn't expect the metal at around halfway in. In fact, I think the two sections are completely different to one another, as if they were two separate songs mashed in one track. While the atmospheric intro, with orchestral instruments and a very good, expressive poetic tone sets the path for a greater crescendo of atmosphere, it suddenly gets slammed by an uncertain "metal" part which in my eyes doesn't quite stand up to the former section, in terms of expression and feeling. Technically, the first section of the song - which I think it was probably intended as an intro of sorts - takes exactly half of the piece, the latter section which implies more action and a more upbeat atmosphere feels rather short in its resolution, as if it didn't find enough space to breathe a life on its own, and I find its mastering a bit quirky, from the pounding drums with a reverb or delay effect that borders the annoying, to the guitars that are not as powerful as the drums, to the robotic/vocoder-filled vocals that I think are quite out of context in this whole deal.
Overall, while I find some ideas to be good and well executed, some others feel rather unpolished or need some extra attention. Best of luck with the contest.

SourJovis responds:

The first part is a complete song on its own. It wasn't even necessarily written as an intro. If I couldn't finish the second part, or if it didn't turn out as well as I wanted, I would've only uploaded the first part. But I think the first part alone would be too short, because many judges look at length as well, sometimes more than at quality. I too think the first part might be better than the second, but they're both very different, so I suppose there are people who like the second part better. I thought it was a nice idea to have one composition developed into two different styles. The first part works well as intro. The second part as climax. The second part could've been longer probably. That would've been the more accepted way to do it. But I myself don't like songs that are stretched out for too long, that's why I like to keep it condensed. Also this way the first part isn't reduced to just an intro, but they're two balanced parts, which fits the Wu Xing theme of the song. The first halve is the yang the second the yin. If I could sing better I probably wouldn't have added the effects, but the vocals really sound better like this. I personally don't think it sounds too bad, but I can understand it if you do. I'll try out some different things regarding the mixing.

[~SW~ City of the Clouds]

An enjoyable piece reminiscent of '80s-'90s synthpop mixed with a plethora of other styles in an attempt to better describe your celestial cyberpunk vision. And as it shows, it really works. There is a flow that is quite rare to find in NG tracks nowadays and leaving the "quantity" factor behind, there's an impressive amount of layering scattered through the different scenarios, as if they were designed to convey a specific mood. I especially like the less upbeat sections of the song ("Relative Peace") where everything settles down in order to let the atmosphere breathe in.

The cons, well, are luckily minor and they don't really detract from the experience: I don't really understand why you left the hats and cymbals so high in the mix in the final part of Relative Peace and in Return. I think they're relatively distracting, as if you were trying to fill a spot with some high-end noise. It's a shame because the mastering is mostly at a professional level throughout the whole track, and every instrument doesn't feel too muddy or burdened by other layers in the mix. Stylistically speaking, it's a lovely composition but it kinda feels like there's... too much. I don't wanna contradict myself by declaring that, but the quantity factor is sort of a double edged sword where it should be implied that by adding more elements to the mix, you have to be more careful about fitting everything in without - in layman's terms - screwing up. Now here you mostly did a good job at keeping all the sounds together, but it still feels somewhat sparse struggling to find its own personality.

Overall, I think it's one of the best entries this contest could ever have.
//FD

SkyeWint responds:

Hello!

Oh man, where do I even begin to respond to this...? I guess I'll just go in order.

You know exactly how much I love to mix something like 10 different styles in almost all my music. It's a big habit of mine. The flow might be somewhat difficult to get, but I'm glad that I managed to capture it properly. Relative Peace is probably my favorite section if I had to pick a favorite, I love using all those nice pretty sound effects. :P

As for the cons, the cymbals and high-hats aren't overly high in the mix as far as I could hear, if they were to you it's likely because I left them a little pocket where they'd be able to breathe. The cymbals because I liked the mechanical pattern and the cymbals because I thought it created a nice atmosphere. I guess it's true that at this point the mixing is more personal preference, hahaha. I'm glad you thought the mastering was good, I had to use two instances of Maximus with different settings to level everything... then level everything again.

Having too much in the song is something that I do pretty often, honestly. I do it especially when it comes to more cinematic and spectacular stuff (and this definitely falls into that category). I should try to make some minimalistic pieces again for the fun of it. At least I apparently can keep things fitting together for most of the time. ;)

Glad you think that it's one of the best entries! :D Maybe you could vote for it in the fan favorites thread...? :3