ForgottenDawn's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[MechanicalRonin]

While I enjoyed the dark vibes you provided, I feel like this piece needs some more polish and examination. The drum work is still remarkable and it's probably the best part of the song, but I wish you offered something more than that, like more background synths and rhythmic/sequenced synths, because the atmosphere by itself isn't bad but I wish you'd developed it further.

The bass could have been more present in the mix and slightly more distorted since the general mood is supposed to be ominous and dark. What about more hints at traditional Japanese music, like a shakuhachi sample or woodblocks? The shamisen you used kinda reminds me of Photek but it honestly gets quite repetitive after a while if it weren't for the ever-evolving drums.

Overall, it's still an enjoyable piece, if quite straight to the point and somewhat fitting of your art choice.
//FD

YouriX responds:

Yeah i geuss i spent a tad more time on my drums hahaha! xD
I guess was way to much in to my drums that i centerd the song around it. I shuld have added more layers and sounds. But just like you i liked the song for what it is. :D

[Spirit Realm]

I don't think this piece is terrible and in fact it does have a good structure and a somewhat melodic base, while the atmosphere's a bit lacking. I think the piano could have needed more reverb in order to bring out a spacey, chill atmosphere because right now it feels rather dry and in terms of expression, and it honestly doesn't really offer much at the end of the day.

The wobbling bass while it's exactly not the best in the field does its job decently, although I would have loved some more variations and perhaps more grit and distortion to bring it more character and presence in the mix. The mastering is performed well with only very minor issues relative to limiting/compression, but it's somewhat tolerable.

Now the synths that play the various chords could have been in my opinion brighter and less prominent in the mix, in order to leave some breathing space for more background instruments like a sidechained pad and rhythmic/sequenced synths. I have nothing really to point out about the drums, there's a good "punch" and even the snare that could feel week at a first glance, at the current state of things can fit well. Maybe the hats could have had more of a presence since the high end feels kind of empty, along with the crash cymbal, but they're otherwise well programmed.

//FD

Jayk-O responds:

Thank you!! I've actually learned how to better my song after this.
I'll keep these concepts in mind :)

[After Us (updated)]

That's some sexy distortion going on there, a pretty vast improvement over the previous version of this track. I only wish some of the orchestra were more glitched/crushed and less flat-sounding, perhaps some vibrato would have helped. I know it's really the samples themselves, but you can manually do that with an LFO at very fast intervals. I like the stereo panning you applied and even though there's not much low end, it still is quite the enjoyable post-apocalyptic piece.
Well done
//FD

Thonz responds:

Thank you for the review and the advice. In my future pieces I'll definitely try out what you suggested.

[Gears keep turning]

Brilliance. I gotta be really honest, I didn't quite expect to find another intelligent piece like this and it turned out I was wrong. The half point missing from my rating focuses only on minor discrepancies that could have helped elevating your track to the upper echelons of Newgrounds and beyond, because that's the kind of potential we're talking about.

You're right, it probably didn't turn out how you wanted, perhaps because some parts needed more of a melodic base and less focus on the complex drumming. Perhaps they needed more intensity, emphasizing the sense of a clockwork that keeps going on no matter what, and perhaps you needed more out-of-the-box sounds reminding you of broken machinery, maybe some music box in the distance, like a broken lullaby. There are so many possibilities trapped in this piece it's a shame to not give some recognition.

I say well done.
//FD

OmegaP responds:

Thanks for the review, it really means alot to me. I love the broken lullaby image!

[Intergalactic Valentine]

Right from the start, I thought those sounds would evolve into something bigger and more immersive, but I didn't quite find the atmosphere you provided to be engaging, if scrambled across the entire composition. It's also pretty repetitive and this kind of repetition doesn't really offer much in terms of expression and potential, so in this case keeping things varied would have helped "elevating" those five minutes a little.

However, the main problem in this track is the somewhat sparse sense of melody and instrumentation. Both things are interesting to consider when the context is relatively darker, so you'd be emphasizing the feeling of mystery, chaos and disorientation, but here it just feels quite disorganized and what could have had a melodic/uplifting base is instead turned into a chaotic mess only faintly hinting at an actual melody. It's a shame because the mastering is probably the highlight of this track and there is a sense of structure permeating throughout the whole composition, but you need to find the right compromise between the sounds and focus your vision a little better.

//FD

[Endgame]

I definitely enjoyed the pace throughout the track and it does feel pretty cinematic. I wouldn't have abused that swell-like frame drum so much it felt rather repetitive, especially at the beginning. It didn't become much of a problem later, thankfully due to the orchestral bombing in the climax and the general progression of the track.

I agree that the EQ needs some work and it sounds as if the instruments themselves are not given enough dynamics with the compression sounding a little bit flat. You could solve this by applying stereo enhancing on the master track, cut most of the reverb from the drums and boosting the low end a bit.

It's an otherwise enjoyable track and I love the film score vibe you provided
//FD

[Diskovr - Cant Keep Up]

It's not a bad track for sure and overall, the structure and the idea behind this are interesting. The drums are relatively loud compared to the synths and even the bass, so I suggest you to turn them down a little bit and give some breathing space to the other instruments. The variations you applied are quite nice, even though I think the bass line could have had a bit more of character in the mix. Transitions should definitely be smoothed, either by applying more risers before the new sections are introduced or playing around frequency automations, also to make things more interesting to hear. The melody is quite good overall, but I wished it had some more depth, possibly by adding more background synths and sequenced arps, just a suggestion.
//FD

[MrO- Rising Flames]

Just... no. XD

I'm sorry, but honestly, this can be either too easy to be dismissed or too hard to explain with just words why it can be dismissed. It's really painful to listen to, but I'll try to leave some actual advice rather than just bury the track six feet under and call it a day.

The structure per se isn't exactly bad, but spamming the kick for four minutes straight isn't gonna help the cause. There are many things you can do to keep things interesting, but I think that the main problem here is that it's near cacophony. The difference between an interesting cacophony and an annoying cacophony is when certain elements in the track are combined in a way you can recognize even a faint pattern or section that makes you feel emotionally "linked" to it. It's the same thing as comparing a sketchbook made by a 2 y/o toddler and Picasso.

There are myriads of ways to start a composition and build on it: some artists prefer melody, some prefer atmosphere and sound design, some prefer more conventional means. Whatever you pick, try to give meaning to what you're doing and try to tell a story with every instrument you're using. It may sound like a colossal thing to do, but it will come naturally given enough practice and experience and you will never stop learning. There's no best way to do it either, we're all trying here in the end. Observe the world around you, listen to its sounds, and you'll realize that making music is nothing otherworldly and we're just rearranging sound waves in a different way each time.

I hope I've been useful somehow, best of luck on your journey
//FD

Mrobeymenow responds:

... Was my work just compared to Picasso and a toddler?... Anyway, thanks for the review, I appreciate every one I can get. I agree, this song failed, for some reason, out of all the songs I've ever made, this one failed the most. I might revisit this and fix the composition "errors", and make this something pretty good. But I can assure you, the calamity of sound that happened in this will never be heard again. I invite you to listen to my next song, and see for yourself this was a one time thing. I apologize in advance to future listeners and pray that they don't have the volume very high.

[Temple of Light]

It's a really good piece with plenty of atmosphere, an enjoyable structure and a catchy melody that kinda stretches for a while. While I praise the unintentional nostalgia factor for it reminded me of the good old Dark Cloud days, but most importantly the cinematic depth you've provided, I can tell you what could have made it even more cinematic.

First of all more variation on the theme would have been nice. While the melody is very nice and engaging, I think that introducing more instruments, counter-melodies and background ambiances would have made it more interesting and refreshing. I don't actually have complaints for the ending and I think it fits the atmosphere well, if probably for the fact that it comes a bit abruptly, so perhaps smoothing that transition would have improved the flow of the piece.

If this is your first try at cinematic I'd say it's a very good start! Remember that anything can sound "cinematic" and immersive if you just let the sounds slowly build their way, and leave them enough breathing space in the mix. In fact I think dynamics are pretty tight in this song because the atmosphere is already quite massive and it doesn't really leave room for other instruments (even background sounds) to take place.

Overall, I say good job and keep improving in this direction
//FD

Mawnz responds:

Hi! You judges are really going all out on this, which I think we all love to see. It is much appreciated.

It's not my first cinematic piece (I think), but I don't really know much about the genre in terms of composing so.
So as you say: anything can sound cinematic. I've never thougt about that...
Anyway thank you for taking you time to listen and give constructive feedback! I find it intriguing to experiment in this genre, and I'm gonna improve!

-Mawnz

[Children of Saturn]

It's an interesting obviously spacey, atmospheric track that offers quite some powerful visuals and a good degree of depth as a whole.

I don't really understand why you repeated the first two minutes again, especially since the build-up was already quite lengthy and then it seemed as if you only needed an "explosion" of sounds and a climax. I think it could have worked better if you either kept the repetition and added a powerful climax at the end before fading into darkness, or scratched the whole repetition and introduced more instruments and variations on the theme starting from that sort of breakdown.

I mean, don't get me wrong, what you did wasn't bad at all, but it honestly felt kind of like a lazy move when your song already had a very solid atmosphere and structure you could have built upon. Other than that, I think more background sounds would have helped the section at 1:34 - 2:01, maybe a background arp or rhythmic synths perhaps with a driving bass line.

Overall, you did a good job with your ambiance and I think you made justice to the artwork of choice.
//FD

JoshuaHughes responds:

Thanks for the thoughtful words! I'll be sure to put more effort and variation into my tracks next time. Bassline has now been duly noted.