It's funny how the moment I post something about how I'd like to improve my own videos, Youtube decides to fuck up to near Orwellian levels. I'm sure there's people out there going "SEE? I TOLD YOU, DIDN'T I? IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME" and yeah, they're kinda right, but honestly, it wasn't that difficult to figure out either.

If you still haven't heard the news and you're wondering why nearly everyone's pissed at Youtube right now, here's why: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6162278?hl=en&pageId=116546663462822302823

Youtube is a big company first and foremost, owned by an even larger company called Google. It was only a matter of time before they'd push their own corporate agenda in due time and guess what, that time has come, and it's ugly. Nobody likes it for a good reason: something called "censorship". Something called "you can monetize your videos only if we like your content" and said content has to be "advertisement friendly", otherwise you can forget even starting a business on Youtube. They think it's a good idea to censor the internet. :D

https://youtu.be/H47ow4_Cmk0

Well, personally, I make mostly instrumental music and my titles are far from being perceived as provokative or "controversial". Still, by principle, it's absurd that as a creator I need to be "scared" of the consequences because I simply talk about the real issues around the world or because I happen to swear from time to time, just citing two banal examples. I understand if I upload hate speeches or speeches that specifically target minorities, or upload pornography or some gore shit, I mean, there are plenty of other websites for them. But I think they're driving it waaaaaaay too far.

They want to turn Youtube into a family-friendly safe haven for kids, dumping all the watered-down mainstream media BS with big sponsor money. If it keeps going like this, it's gonna be the next MySpace and a large portion of the userbase will migrate to alternative websites like Vimeo, Dailymotion or even Netflix. Or, you know, there's always the Deep Web, which I think will be the only alternative in a near future/present.

So hey, that's the 10-second version of "Youtube fucks it up again", so if you'll excuse me, I now [REDACTED] █████████████████████████████████████████

Useful links for discussion:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmzf0duEYRk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osOyv5QnywY

So I've been thinking about it for a while and I've been kinda wanting to upgrade the visual appeal of my Youtube channel.

That's why I took a long hiatus before uploading any new video, because I wanted to plan out the things I'm imagining to do for my channel in a near future.

So the idea is to liven up things a little by adding real-time audio spectrums to each video and maybe clean up the typography and backgrounds. Applying some visual polish, in a broader sense.

Something like this mockup I think would look nice for future videos. What do you think?

PS: I took "Whispering Horizon" as an example. I'm not willing to reupload old tracks with the new candidate layout.

Mockup:

Current visual:

https://www.newgrounds.com/content/embed.php?id=LhfVz

Yup, it's that late here at the time of this post.

I don't know, I guess I feel the need to write my insomnia down somehow. It's strange. I don't usually feel like writing personal blogs and go on lengths about my own struggles. But sometimes I feel the need to deviate from the ordinary as an attempt to burst my own bubble for a little while, just enough time to let some new air in and breathe.

I have been composing since 2009. I consider it a long time, almost 7 years, and I've been lurking here in this website for about the same time. I've been through plenty of ups and downs, highs and lows, but that's part of the process anyways. Creativity bursts, creative insomnia, anxieties, bouts of depression and cynicism, writer's blocks, and so on.

I guess things are going good, right? I've still come pretty far compared to my previous endeavor as KKSlider60 and I'm actively continuing to contribute to this current project, Forgotten Dawn. I've made soundtracks and released them publicly. Contributed to games, and I have plenty of ideas myself. I've even finished a game not too long ago, finally. I've made friends along the way, had to say goodbye to some, but hey, I'm still here.

So I guess... the question arises. Where's the problem?

No matter how much of myself I pour into my works, and lately I have come to the conclusion that yes, I should give priority to my own creativity no matter what before anything else, I have always been having this feeling in the back of my head. This unnamed, lingering shadow breathing down my neck as I'm writing these words...

Feeling stagnant. Like nothing really changes for me or around me. No matter how many works I release, no matter how much effort I put into sharing it with people and folks I know, no matter how many ideas I share and want to actively develop... It's just. In the end, I'm like a ghost that pops up every once in a while and makes some tunes before disappearing again.

I'm not the kind of guy that desperately seeks validation from others, even though this post might sound like it's professing the exact opposite. I even tend to think that any feedback or critique is a mere incidental consequence of the act of creation, which is in my view, part of the bigger picture driving a longer chain of events. But I guess... Wouldn't it be nice? Wouldn't it be nice if someone listened without me having to knock on doors? Believe me, I've tried many times. It didn't work. I know what someone would say. Where are you then? Why I never see you around? Because I'm busy, mostly thinking about what to do, thinking about the world, thinking about myself, thinking about many things.

Just what am I missing?

I'm not missing on ideas, I keep creating because that's what I ultimately want to do primarily for myself. I am not afraid to hit controversial themes for the sake of expression, or making people feel something in their lives. So why do I feel like everything I've done so far, everything I have achieved for myself remained in my own bubble and never got a chance to fly?

"Change is gonna come", somebody sang. It's what I tell myself. To keep fighting. To keep walking up this hill. Sure... I'm used to it by now. I am my own warrior and therapist. So... I don't know.

I feel like I need to know if anyone here feels the way I've been feeling.

If you've got this far reading this post, I say wow. You must have a lot of patience.

I guess that's it for now.

//FD

So this is kind of a weird post.

I've been on and off lately, trying to desperately sleep and rest... and I ended up working on a new short project, instead.

Yup, it's a new game made on RPG Maker 2003. It's not _fade and it's pretty much its own thing, though it follows a similar theme. It's an adventure game and it's mostly about exploring the weird, surreal world around you, meeting all sorts of strange characters.

I've made this game in a little under 2 weeks, after working non-stop on it and making sure everything was falling into place exactly as I imagined it. Made as practice, but also as a sort of self-imposed challenge.

So... enjoy!

http://gamejolt.com/games/defrag/179965

Work in progress...

The die is cast. The people have voted.

Refer to yesterday's poll for anyone who's missed all the talk.

Here are the results as of today, 14:08 GMT+1: http://www.strawpoll.me/10723166/r

5 people have voted Yes, in favor of having video tags as part of each video title from my channel

1 person has voted No, against having video tags.

I know, huge numbers, but important. All the people who have voted gave me important feedback on what could be the best solution to my problem.

Perfectly valid reasons from both sides, too.

In the end, I think that in order to build a community of listeners, an audience, it might be worth trying. It has never been about the numbers per se. I can't pretend to reach out for people if I don't have anything worth showing, too. However, in my opinion I do have, plenty actually.

Those tags really don't mean much in terms of content quality. I will keep experimenting regardless of genres, as I've always done. Those tags are simply meant to give people a general idea of what they're searching for, they definitely don't describe their own personal experience.

I am really just trying to spread my voice in the vastness of cyberspace.

Agreements? Disagreements? I'd love to hear your voice.

Stay tuned

//FD

Hey folks, been a while.

Something curious happened today. I was listening to some painfully slow metal. Today has been hot, like really hot. I was sweating gallons with my blood pressure below my feet, so my brain didn't want anything complicated to process. Something to channel this whole groggy, like-somebody-had-beaten-me-with-a-rusty-iron-pole feeling.

I decided to type "atmospheric funeral doom metal" in the Youtube search bar to see what I'd find. You know, uplifting, cheery stuff. First video on the list: something I made 5 years ago on my old, now inactive account KK Slider. I look up the views count: nearly 40'000.

Granted I almost completely forgot about it, since I no longer go back to my old account, that was still pretty surprising. There was even a following of people I didn't know about. And the second video, the "sequel" to that one had over 18'000 views. Now, for comparison's sake, my current Youtube channel has a total amount of 16'000 views, more or less. So... how did I get all those folks in a 5 year time?

I thought it was because of the title. Youtube tags videos based on their title, so something with "Atmospheric Funeral Doom Metal" automatically becomes a search pool for similar searches. FDM is also a fairly uncommon niche genre with a pretty devoted, cult following. I guess the stars just aligned like that.

So now I am really torn. I have been against the use of genre names - unless I am really forced to because of a stupid rule that won't otherwise allow me to upload anything (I'm looking at you, Audiojungle), simply because they don't mean anything, it's just a categorization pretty much exploited by critics, labels and the industry to make more money and divide fanbases around the world. Hell, even the definition of "music" is entirely subjective. I have always wanted to compose music to encourage thinking and inspire people to come up with their own interpretations and worlds. For my video titles, so far I've been using a [artist name] - [song title] format. Direct, for sure, though in terms of views ineffective due to the fact that I'm no superstar and therefore not many people search for the words "Forgotten Dawn" as they would search, say, "really cute kitty". I'm not a really cute kitty.

Therefore, I am asking your thoughts about it. What do you think would be best to do in this scenario? Leaving things how they are and pray that people will come, or adding genre tags to my video titles?

Here's the poll: http://www.strawpoll.me/10723166

Feel free to leave a comment and stay tuned.

//FD

Oh, and here's the almost-40K views video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lm-8DwO8XxE

It's here.

https://the-underground-collective.bandcamp.com/album/volume-i

It's a freebie that you can't overlook.

The grand effort between many different artists on Newgrounds coalesced into this massive collab album, featuring 26 tracks and a 65-page PDF containing interviews from the musicians themselves! You just can't miss it.

If you love Newgrounds, then you'll love this. It's by the community, for the community.

I will continue to support the initiative and move onto the next collab when the time will come.

For now, enjoy

//FD

Also 200 fans, yay

http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1405471

It's something I've always had in my head.

The idea of creating a community of creative people, sharing ideas and building new worlds, new possibilities. I've stated it in the past that this is one of the goals of Forgotten Dawn, as a project not simply related to audio, but extended to other medias and make it a social experience for everyone to share and enjoy.

Well, I think this might be a start. Starting from the beginning, obviously, which is Newgrounds. Pretty much my creative birthplace, back in 2009. I thought wow, this looks like a cool place. I could share my music, feedback and critique, I could watch some cool movies, play some great games, what more can a teenager ask? I didn't know any other place where I could do such a thing. It's not my first community either, and it's relatively rare to feel "home" in a website.

Now I gotta be honest, and this is where this newspost starts looking like a midnight confession rather than being informative, I haven't been very active from a community standpoint. Sure, I would participate in some contests sometimes, write a few posts, keep you folks updated on what I do, I am busy in real life and I pay my taxes just like everyone else, but at its core most of the times I don't really feel like sharing anything.

I've always wanted to avoid the drama because real life is already full of it, I don't need to be reminded of the countless gallons of gratuitious hatred and shitposting that happens every now and then on the boards and even outside the boards. It's detrimental to one's creativity. What gives? Just ignore it, right? Just suck it up and live on like a man. Well... no. It's not that simple, it never is simple.

If there's one thing that this kind of attitude brought in me is cynicism and apathy. Apathy towards what's really out there — the fact that out of the circle, there's a whole world to explore and there are millions of good people wanting to progress and evolve as individuals. Apathy towards the good things that make a community worth of being shared in the first place.

Cynicism towards the world for its ugly side that is constantly thrown in our faces, like everything's a sensationalist freak show we have to accept by an unspoken, unseen rule silently agreed by everyone around me except myself. Cynicism towards the community for what it is, believing nothing will ever change because that's what some people want you to believe. I'm sick and tired of people that do not want to change for the better while not letting others do their own thing peacefully. This nihilistic attitude is what hinders a community from seeing what is really there and what is actually happening to them.

Yes, I've felt like this for a long time. That's insanity.

I still believe deep down inside that some things will never really change. It's this existential nihilism, realizing the fragility of human beings and our volatile nature, that sometimes hinders me from giving a flying fuck in the first place. It's my lawn, and this is yours. Don't step in unless I ask you.

Stepping out of the circle and realizing the masquerade ball you've just left is more painful than you'd think. It's like realizing they have suddenly ripped a bunch of vital organs from your body, watching them tearing your body apart into a gory mess and you let them just do that, because you know, it's part of the circle jerk. It's a costume, right? Who gets more organs wins and the losers clean up the mess.

But you know... you eventually grow tired of that as well. When I realize I still have dreams to pursue. When I realize that there are people who have been investing in my capabilities. When I realize there are people that have already left this world, some of them still have a few years left to live, and I've been lucky enough to have met those people in time, embracing their legacy. It's the moment I need to realize that it's no longer my fight.

My ambitions and dreams are no longer "mine". It's the kind of wake up call that I wish more people would experience. Being able to embrace possibilities and build them, together. I created that forum post because I see it as a start of a movement of creative people wanting to voice their own ideas. Not ideals. Ideas. Many good ideas start from the underground and Newgrounds is a good place for blurring the line between "professional" and "amateur". I still believe Newgrounds is a goldmine of unscouted talent, or talents you have never even heard of. I want to give them a voice. That's where the idea of a "collective" started rooting in my head.

It's not a society, it's definitely not a hive. It's a group of Creators celebrating their creativity for everyone to enjoy and share. I also didn't want to call it an Audio collective because even if it primarily involves musicians/composers, more people might get involved, including visual artists, writers, animators, game designers, programmers, who knows. Possibilities are endless.

So... there you go. This is my legacy for the place that started everything for me.