ForgottenDawn's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Bop]

You're quite the self-deprecating contestant, something I honestly wasn't expecting. It's more about the experience of participating to an event welcomes people from all over the world, listening to their music, hearing their feedback and their own voices. No one here is the best and my job as a judge is not even to put your track on a balance in an attempt to "measure" its value, because it's simply impossible.

Now, I think your track is well composed, it has a solid structure and you've managed to bring some degree of variety throughout these six minutes and counting of music. I would be stupid to not recognize some highlights from this effort, like the constant bass work which is pretty complex and interesting to hear, and all the build-ups and changes you've performed.

If anything, I would have loved to hear some more complex dynamics between the various melodies, possibly by adding background synths and ambiances, and sidechaining pads could have also helped the cause. The drums are not exactly immersive and I would have used some more intense samples, especially in the more downtempo parts. Try also to smooth transitions between the different sections with some riser sound effects, booms or even glitch effects that could help improving the flow of the track.

It's not what I consider a mediocre effort, and my rating shouldn't let you kick the bucket and seek something else to do. I encourage you to keep going down this road and try to give depth to simpler songs and patterns before moving onto something gargantuan like a 6-minute song. Also... djent? Pfft, got nothing on this. So far I haven't even seen any track can remotely be considered "metal", if that helps.

//FD

Wilhiemthe2nd responds:

Thanks a lot FD, I apologize for the self deprecating-ness, My boyfriend and I have been trying to work on eliminating my chronic self-esteem issues. This hasn't happened with music, my most passionate subject. Don't worry about me not trying any more, Music will always be my thing, even if I'm terrible at it.

I've actually been trying to improve this thing for quite awhile, but I'm not exactly sure if I'm allowed to submit an edited version of the same song to the contest. >:

As for the quality of the samples, my extremely modest financial background prohibits me from getting something like EZ-Drummer, or FL Studio, so I guess winning is out of the question due to that, but I did enter just for the experience and the reviews really. I just put myself in a mindset where I was worried these SUPER EXPERIENCE PROFESSIONALS would be all over it and think I'm a terrible person and such. ...Jeez I can be really silly sometimes.

I don't why I mentioned Djent, I guess I just thought of something that may pop up and blast my song under the radar or something. As for song length... heheh... Due to the music I listen to a lot, 6 minutes is a pretty average length song to me, blame Dream Theater. XD

TlDr, I'd like to remake this, am I allowed to resubmit it? (provided that the contest isnt over yet, though I'll resubmit this to NG anyway really.)

[Forest Of Desolation]

I was already astonished by the artwork of reference and I took five good minutes to "get back to the real world" and prepare my mindset for this piece which, in my opinion, is equally beautiful or at least able to compete with it.

Mastering sounds professional and it reminded me of Assassin's Creed II at some points, might have been the vocals used or the relatively acoustic sound. Celtic music always manages to sound awespiring to me and this piece makes absolutely no exception.

I would have made the melodies a little more intense and present in the mix while possibly introducing a theme variation by the time the main theme is repeated for about the third or fourth time. You've played around repetition by varying the instrumentation and playing with the beautifully executed atmosphere. Again, it's a minor discrepancy that doesn't really detract from the experience at all, mere nitpicking if you wish, and it doesn't drift away from the fact that it's a near-masterpiece able to compete with film score and what the industry offers.

Superb job
//FD

Mattashi responds:

Thank you so much ForgottenDawn :)

[The Traveler]

This track I feel is kind of a hit and miss for the most part. While I appreciate your effort in storytelling and building a soundscape that attempts at exploring different moods and dynamics, I think the main problem is the lack of cohesion between the sections, as they feel like they belong more to a collage of sounds.

It's not even about enforcing a melody on a track like this because that's not really the main intent and it doesn't probably even need one to begin with. But the sound effects used here by themselves don't constitute enough of an immersive atmosphere, even if you strip them of effects.

I understand the experimental nature of this piece, as you said it's something rather new for you, but I feel for instance that when the melody starts after the first minute you could have used some pads or textures and build up the song from that point. Some other sparse sound effects here and there after the second minute feel rather dissonant and out of place in a relatively tranquil mood you've crafted, even in (up to interpretations) a relatively oneiric context.

Overall, it's not what I consider a bad track at all, but there are details that I think you could take in consideration for your next experiment.
//FD

Chemiqals responds:

Thanks for the feedback!

[Godlike]

It honestly sounds like a sketch of an idea that needs further polish and elaboration. I have the impression the intro is really loud compared to the quieter drums that come after the first minute, and it is in fact generally louder than even the rest of the song before those string-like instruments make a comeback later on. It's quite repetitive and you didn't give much space to the underlining atmosphere which, in my opinion, deserved more. More variations and sound polish would have helped enriching your song and make it more interesting to listen to.
//FD

N1nj4X responds:

It's just an experiment at all. Everything I do is just an experiment, that's because some people think I need to 'improve' a bit more.
Now, about your review, in fact I'm not very good making athmospheric music, that's because this not sounds good for you. If this song don't have so much variation it's because my main goal is make something minimal. I also don't have too many samples or VSTs, so I can't replace them to sounds better.

Thanks 4 reviewing.

[Breaking Crystals]

I'm going to be honest about this: I wasn't quite expecting the "turning point" that ultimately quite ruined the intro ambiance. I like the fact that you tried experimenting with something unusual and collage'd different pieces together, but it's also the same reason why it doesn't sound a cohesive effort to my ears.

The reason is simple: there are shards that can go well together because they enhance the experience while still maintaining a certain degree of experimentation, like the intro ambiance, the dubsteppy drums and the last progression after the second minute. Those alone could have, in my opinion, already made the song. I don't think the guitars could have had any positive contribution in this context at all at this point.

Overall it's an interesting track, with some ideas that can work together and some other ones that I advise you should keep for other efforts.
//FD

aCreator responds:

I think it's always "risky" to try doing experimental stuff because the idea comes from you alone and when you listen to it you get used to it and finally (even if it's completely wrong) you feel that there is some sort of "right" in there. And as you said... Sometime you're lucky and it sounds really good for some people or other times it won't sound as good as you wanted it to sound...
So thank you for this review (not only yours :) ) because you showed me what could sound good and what sounded "bad" from another's perspective than mine. And I will use your advices in the future to make better music!

[Forgotten Secrets]

It's quite an average effort, and it needs in my opinion further exploration and elaboration. You definitely have the vision backing up, but you need to work on its execution. The new theme introduced after the first minute feels a bit out of place in a relatively slow-paced and spacey context, especially considering you're trying to portray the depths of a ruined city. I like the ambiance during the last part, and I honestly don't think you should have repeated the first two sections of the song again for other two minutes before the outro. The last part alone is what keeps the song varied enough without resorting to pattern recycling again. Speaking of epilogues, I can probably see where you were going to and it's a nice change of plans considering what you wrote about it and also considering it doesn't really drifts away much from the darker ambiance preceding the last section.
//FD

Spadezer responds:

Thanks for the review. I'll agree with the criticism you gave and I'm glad you could see where I was going with this. I wish I could give you more of a response other than that, but it sounds like you enjoyed it and I'm glad. (I suggest you look at Tron Shredder. You might enjoy that a bit more if you haven't heard it yet)

-Spadezer-

[Poems for Darkness]

I appreciate your effort in both composing this piece and performing it live in one final take. I deeply respect fellow musicians that are able to perform their own works and this makes no exception. I wasn't expecting originality and in fact it reminds of plenty of classical repertoire, mostly from the Romantic era, but be proud of what you have accomplished here for it ultimately defines your dedication. I am not exactly a fan of your left hand work for at some points it sounds a bit overpowering and it doesn't really balance the "weight" of your right hand, but I praise the composition and the immeasurable element known as feeling.
//FD

MetroPiano responds:

Thanks for your response, ya I have had problems with balancing my right and left hand, that is because I was never taught how to play piano by an instructor (a.k.a. I was self-taught) so I never learned any of the proper methods for playing piano, including weighting and fingering techniques, also I'm unsure what you meant by the originality bit, (by that I mean if you thought it was orginal or not?) Cause from reading it I get confused if you mean you weren't expecting originality meaning you didn't think it was original, or by the same words meaning you didn't expect to hear something original but did with this piece? I'm just a bit confused on that one comment, so if you could clear that up it would be helpful to improve on the things I did wrong on this piece.
Thanks again!

[Light in the Darkness]

I think it's definitely one of the most interesting pieces I've heard from the contest so far. There's a lot of content and narrative bursting throughout the three different sections of this piece, and each of them shines of a different light as well.

The evocative and slow-paced intro, setting the world you've painted through the medium of your lush orchestra. The lonely sound of a harp slowly descending in the fiery depths shyly accompanied by a violin and cello, and finally, the climax of this piece.

It is by no means a weak song in terms of power and emotional response, although I would have loved the second part to be a little more intense soon joined by the erupting climax. Speaking of which, the horns and strings could have been a little more powerful in order to justify the relatively loud snare and the "Darkness" you've been inspired by. All minor aspects of the song that don't really detract from the experience, and I stand by my praise for it's well deserving indeed.

//FD

Emid responds:

Thank you very much for you kind response and suggestions. I will take into account when I will do something in future. Many thanks again.

[Diskovr - Flight]

It's a relatively sparse effort that welcomes plenty of interesting ideas with a varying degree of coherence between the different sections of this piece. I didn't quite understand the introduction of that obsessive snare at 1:17 and then again at around 03:55 and 04:20, as I think it sounds rather chaotic and doesn't contribute much in terms of smoothing each transition.

I like the relatively minimalist synth work that keeps things going, even though I might have appreciated some variation better before repeating the same stanza for other two minutes. The other instruments on the other hand help complementing each other, although the mastering suffers from over compression a little too much throughout the whole piece.

It is still quite a good effort and I suggest you to keep pursuing and improving this style
//FD

ksthultz15 responds:

Thanks for your review! :D Looking back, I probably compressed that snare sample a bit too much. It was actually a loop in a sample pack. I'll be sure to keep improving on my electro house and progressive house keeping all these reviews in mind.

[Deep]

An interesting idea that delivers a mildly engaging atmosphere, but ultimately doesn't offer much behind the reverb. While the piece has a solid structure, it seems like it drags the same riff for three minutes. In fact, I would have loved some variation at around 2:30 and it could have been a good chance to enhance and intensify that breakdown, possibly by adding more background ambiances and sounds.

The mastering is quite well performed, though some sounds may be a little too overpowering - namely the screeching sound reminiscent of whale songs - I find the rest to be rather coherent. The bass is probably the highlight of this song and I really enjoy how you automated it, giving it plenty of life and expression.

//FD

Stapless responds:

Thank you for your review :)