ForgottenDawn's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Starchasers AIM 2014]

I think that the fundamental problem with this piece is the lack of a solid atmosphere and depth. While it has a very basic structure with the intro setting a somewhat interesting sound despite being very stripped down, it also sounds as if you diluted the same few riffs for minutes and minutes, droning into an abyss of repetition that fails to deliver an engaging experience. It's not even about dissonance: it's lack of substance.

If you elaborated the track by adding more instruments, possibly rhythmic synths, textures and sounds that could have enhanced your storytelling, it might have been an interesting space ambiance. Repetition should be avoided if it can't sustain itself enough to be considered immersive, and it's a shame because I liked the "analog" feel of the track, but it sounds like an idea that needs further revision and polish.

//FD

[The Audio In Claudio]

Daw, I love you so much bro~
Now bend over, brother, I wanna show you something...

Insanctuary responds:

Oh, I see. I can see my reflection in the pool water! I lovez you too.

[Real Life Absurdities]

Fact is, I really enjoyed this. It evokes many childhood memories and it's something this track is able to convey quite remarkably, in my opinion. While the structure seems sort of minimalist with a few variations on the same theme, it is indeed a solid piece where its minor problems would only be related to a coherency of sound compared to the overall mastering of the track (too much reverb on the brass instruments compared to the percussion?) which is at a professional level. So well done, good luck in this round and I'm glad to have a worthy opponent.

steampianist responds:

its always heart warming (if i had one) to know that people are reminded of their childhood!
and i love minimalism (erik satie)

ah it seems you are not sure? if the brass reverb is too much? hehe kidding anyways thanks for listening and im glad you enjoyed it, that was unexpected considering the kind of music you make and im looking forward to your track

[Ling Kano's Fighting Show]

I can see an improvement from your first round entry, as I think this track feels more coherent and solid as a whole, with a jungle-like atmosphere that is definitely spot on - nostalgic, if you'd like, sending me back to the '90s speaking of video games and why not, TV shows. I've never seen the series you took inspiration from, but overall I think this track is pretty well made with some minor problems related to EQ and transitioning which may feel a bit jarring/sudden to the ear.

SourJovis responds:

Not sure if it's improvement. I'm still on the same level. It's just a coincidence I did something different this time. The style is more continuous but that's one of the reasons why this song is shorter. The production of this was much harder than that of the first round. Hopefully people like this better. I'm not at all sure myself. The transitions were a problem from the start. I think I fixed them quite well compared to how they were, but it's still not perfect. The panning volumes and EQing were also difficult. You can work for days on a song without hearing anything wrong with it only to discover some settings should've been very different all along. When you change one thing, you have to change a cascade of other things. Creating music made me stop believing in perfection. I hope I can later fix some of the flaws.

[The Great Ocean]

It's a nice piece, indeed, and I'm personally a fan of atmospheric DnB as I find it compelling and inspiring. There is quite some atmosphere in your track and I definitely enjoyed the spacey feel throughout the sections, although I think it suffers from over-repetitiveness since you basically stuck the same riff for 4:30 varying your instrumentation very little considering the amount of possibilities such style could potentially allow to express, and last but not least, I think the lead synth could have needed some more articulation - for instance, some vibrato or any other effect that kind of "refreshes" the experience before looping back to the theme. I enjoyed the structure of the piece and it's pretty solid, though I think some parts could have been slightly more synthetic and to the point, like the intro which in my opinion stretches for quite a long time and it's ironic since you then introduce the beat which lasts for a minute or so before getting back to the texture again. Overall, it's an uplifting song whose minor discrepancies may or may not detract from the experience you brought on the table, nonetheless enjoyable and filled with "summery" ambiance. Thanks again for leaving a review to my song, good luck with the contest.

Hurks responds:

Thanks for the review man! Good luck to you too :).

[Punctured Frames]

I think this is one of your most melodic tracks in your repertoire. The strings are definitely a nice touch here, before letting the downtempo bloom in a new age heaven. The various intertwined themes battling to one another are very expressive in my opinion and they never feel empty or unfinished, as I keep adding thoughts and visions of inner conflict, a constant clash between reason and instinct. You've painted a canvas full of lively shades reminding us of our time in this tiny world we inhabit and pretend to govern.

Insanctuary responds:

Most music people create are scaled over onto the edge, as to express the light side or the dark side. With my music, I awaken both worlds co-existently, to give people the experience between themselves, and that other "self", to show that even the monsters that dwell within us can feel emotion as much as we can.

Music so deep, that even the beasts within us can hear it; feel it.

[Gnawing At The Moon]

You always have a way to bring musical expression to another boundary, that feels different but never alien or isolated. I love how the lo-fi instruments that slowly build the atmosphere of this piece seem to improve their quality the more you listen to them. It's amazing, and it's why you're one of my constant inspirations. The sounds at 2:35, with the screaming guitar and the underlying rumble, it's simply wonderful. Good job, mate.

Insanctuary responds:

As composers, we are beyond judgement, but for the music we compose, that is where many alterations of judgement proceed to express the details we've covered diligently throughout the entire musical plane.

I am always looking to give people something new, while staying true to myself.

[~SW~ Winter]

This piece would be great if it didn't feel like a subwoofer kicking waves deep down the ocean in a stormy day. While I enjoyed the overall atmosphere and progression throughout the whole track, I think it hardly stands to your catalog of tracks due to how mastering and muddy the final ensemble sounds. I think the drums are possibly the most out of context here, and they feel as if they're burdened by all this overwhelming reverb, and every other instrument hardly breathes enough space to tell its own story. The vocals are possibly the most refined instrument here, and I definitely enjoyed the whispering at around halfway in the piece. I suggest you to take a little step back and listen to your older pieces, as I feel they're a lot more immersive than this unpolished experiment, and this is like less than 0.1% of your potential. You can do it, man.

SkyeWint responds:

Muddy? Jeez man, I don't know how to satisfy ya. :< I thought this was pretty damn clean.

...I'm also surprised that so many people are saying "THERE IS WAY TOO MUCH REVERB" since there's actually barely any, most of the instruments are pretty darn dry. If you read what I used each effect for, that should show it (though for GlaceVerb it's not obvious. I only had two instances of that up, one of which was for an effect and the other of which was used to expand the vocals VERY occasionally).

I guess I do know why people are saying it though. I also separated the stereo channels on multiple instruments, which can cause the illusion of reverb while being NOTABLY less muddy.

>The vocals are possibly the most refined instrument here
All of my wat. All of it.

>this is like less than 0.1% of your potential
Well holy shit, that's one hell of a compliment. I'm going to have to work a hell of a lot harder to satisfy you. Here's hoping my other musical ideas will flourish enough to keep you... well, to keep you from being so disappointed. :<

[Fisherman's Fantasy]

I definitely enjoyed the atmosphere throughout the song, and well, I definitely didn't expect the metal at around halfway in. In fact, I think the two sections are completely different to one another, as if they were two separate songs mashed in one track. While the atmospheric intro, with orchestral instruments and a very good, expressive poetic tone sets the path for a greater crescendo of atmosphere, it suddenly gets slammed by an uncertain "metal" part which in my eyes doesn't quite stand up to the former section, in terms of expression and feeling. Technically, the first section of the song - which I think it was probably intended as an intro of sorts - takes exactly half of the piece, the latter section which implies more action and a more upbeat atmosphere feels rather short in its resolution, as if it didn't find enough space to breathe a life on its own, and I find its mastering a bit quirky, from the pounding drums with a reverb or delay effect that borders the annoying, to the guitars that are not as powerful as the drums, to the robotic/vocoder-filled vocals that I think are quite out of context in this whole deal.
Overall, while I find some ideas to be good and well executed, some others feel rather unpolished or need some extra attention. Best of luck with the contest.

SourJovis responds:

The first part is a complete song on its own. It wasn't even necessarily written as an intro. If I couldn't finish the second part, or if it didn't turn out as well as I wanted, I would've only uploaded the first part. But I think the first part alone would be too short, because many judges look at length as well, sometimes more than at quality. I too think the first part might be better than the second, but they're both very different, so I suppose there are people who like the second part better. I thought it was a nice idea to have one composition developed into two different styles. The first part works well as intro. The second part as climax. The second part could've been longer probably. That would've been the more accepted way to do it. But I myself don't like songs that are stretched out for too long, that's why I like to keep it condensed. Also this way the first part isn't reduced to just an intro, but they're two balanced parts, which fits the Wu Xing theme of the song. The first halve is the yang the second the yin. If I could sing better I probably wouldn't have added the effects, but the vocals really sound better like this. I personally don't think it sounds too bad, but I can understand it if you do. I'll try out some different things regarding the mixing.

[~SW~ City of the Clouds]

An enjoyable piece reminiscent of '80s-'90s synthpop mixed with a plethora of other styles in an attempt to better describe your celestial cyberpunk vision. And as it shows, it really works. There is a flow that is quite rare to find in NG tracks nowadays and leaving the "quantity" factor behind, there's an impressive amount of layering scattered through the different scenarios, as if they were designed to convey a specific mood. I especially like the less upbeat sections of the song ("Relative Peace") where everything settles down in order to let the atmosphere breathe in.

The cons, well, are luckily minor and they don't really detract from the experience: I don't really understand why you left the hats and cymbals so high in the mix in the final part of Relative Peace and in Return. I think they're relatively distracting, as if you were trying to fill a spot with some high-end noise. It's a shame because the mastering is mostly at a professional level throughout the whole track, and every instrument doesn't feel too muddy or burdened by other layers in the mix. Stylistically speaking, it's a lovely composition but it kinda feels like there's... too much. I don't wanna contradict myself by declaring that, but the quantity factor is sort of a double edged sword where it should be implied that by adding more elements to the mix, you have to be more careful about fitting everything in without - in layman's terms - screwing up. Now here you mostly did a good job at keeping all the sounds together, but it still feels somewhat sparse struggling to find its own personality.

Overall, I think it's one of the best entries this contest could ever have.
//FD

SkyeWint responds:

Hello!

Oh man, where do I even begin to respond to this...? I guess I'll just go in order.

You know exactly how much I love to mix something like 10 different styles in almost all my music. It's a big habit of mine. The flow might be somewhat difficult to get, but I'm glad that I managed to capture it properly. Relative Peace is probably my favorite section if I had to pick a favorite, I love using all those nice pretty sound effects. :P

As for the cons, the cymbals and high-hats aren't overly high in the mix as far as I could hear, if they were to you it's likely because I left them a little pocket where they'd be able to breathe. The cymbals because I liked the mechanical pattern and the cymbals because I thought it created a nice atmosphere. I guess it's true that at this point the mixing is more personal preference, hahaha. I'm glad you thought the mastering was good, I had to use two instances of Maximus with different settings to level everything... then level everything again.

Having too much in the song is something that I do pretty often, honestly. I do it especially when it comes to more cinematic and spectacular stuff (and this definitely falls into that category). I should try to make some minimalistic pieces again for the fun of it. At least I apparently can keep things fitting together for most of the time. ;)

Glad you think that it's one of the best entries! :D Maybe you could vote for it in the fan favorites thread...? :3