ForgottenDawn's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[~SW~ Fog Between]

Hm, well, it's definitely not a bad piece and I like how it transitions after the first minute, as I feel it's very expressive in its simplicity. I also recognized the piano you used that gives that particular "buzz" and I know it's the instrument itself generating that sound, so you couldn't have really controlled that. Nonetheless, I'm giving this a quick review because I know you've probably submitted something far more interesting than this for the contest, and while I don't consider this effort to be average, it's not spectacular either. I guess it was perhaps an act of liberation for you, pouring out the sadness and stress in one take and it's something I can relate to particularly, but that's pretty much it.
//FD

SkyeWint responds:

It was definitely more of an act of liberation than anything. I understand everything you've said in this, and I agree with it.

...also, I actually could have controlled a lot of the buzz. It's in one of the two layers of the instrument - it's just normally automatic.

[Escape]

Almost jazzy in its execution, at least the intro, before dwelling into classical melodrama which feels a little abrupt but nonetheless interesting to listen to.

I would have loved some more humanization, as suggested below, in order to increase the flow of the song and let the piano feel more natural and less mechanized. Playing with the volume of most notes may also help bringing variety to the dynamics, aside probably from the fact that it's a rather short entry and it would have been interesting to hear more from it.

Bonus points for looping so smoothly, I don't know if unintentional, but I think I've looped it like ten times while writing this review and I didn't really notice it.

//FD

[Shards]

It's an enjoyable slow piece with a good structure and an atmosphere that doesn't fail to live up to the artwork of choice.

Dynamics-wise, I like how the strings are mastered and they manage to be quite expressive, although the instruments introduced later on while essential for the build-up they sound a little cluttered and bright compared to the somber, somewhat tragic mood of the intro. I would have loved a little more work on the bass frequencies, perhaps adding basses would suffice as to "carry" the chords along and letting the whole string work feel more cohesive.

I'd argue that the intro is perhaps the highlight of this piece, as it sets the mood quite well and it sounds somewhat natural compared to the mechanical-sounding piano which could have been humanized a bit in terms of velocity and time, and I'm not judging the quality of the samples themselves, I'm judging their execution.

The ending feels a little abrupt and I would have personally preferred if you left the second-last chord suspended for a while, made a brief pause and then a closure with a minor chord focused on the "heavier", bass strings.

//FD

LunyAlex responds:

Thank you for the feedback. Dully noted.

[PWD]

Aah, progressive. This totally reminds me of The Black Mages because it's the kind of sound that could well fit in a video game like Persona (Shin Megami Tensei), but it also tries to go beyond that formula and provide an experience that is not just confined to the realm of video games. Might have been the rock organ that feels both incredibly vintage and modern in a way that it brings a smile to your face while headbanging.

It's a very enjoyable track with an ever-changing structure and extensive solo work as you would expect from a prog piece. I feel dynamics to be a little tight, the drums and organ in particular, as they don't really leave much breathing space to the other instruments and they're compressed to the point they're very present in the mid and high frequencies, with plenty of crash cymbals in the way. The guitar on the other hand is well mastered and has plenty of oomph throughout the whole song. You may consider this as mere nitpicking if you wish, because the song itself already stands tall on its own feet.

Great job
//FD

[MrO- Emperor]

Sorry for the wait, there are a lot of entries this year. xD

Well it's definitely an improvement over your first submission. It's still quite repetitive even for "electro house" as you've mentioned earlier, and in terms of progression it doesn't offer much while you do have a structure you can improve upon.

I think your lead synth could have had more grit and distortion, also covering some bass frequencies as well. If you're a fan of electro house, something I generally don't find myself listening to as a personal taste, you may notice that the lead (rarely more than one) has a fuller sound, usually stretched between the stereo channels (panning also takes place to give it a hypnotic, psychedelic sound), with some reverb and vintage delay to give it a "stadium"-like ambiance and then distortion for an engaging texture of 90 nails scratching a blackboard on all four walls of your room, reminding me of the single "Satisfaction" if you're familiar with the tune.

Some vocoder or formant changed vocals could help as well, if a bit cliché, they could be glitched up and make it a little interesting to hear. I have nothing to say about the drums actually, as I feel they've been programmed well also in terms of mastering and EQ. Maybe some transition effects like risers and booms may help smoothing the different parts together and create a more flowing experience.

Keep working on making your progressions and synths fuller and more engaging to listen to, and I think you're probably in the right direction.
//FD

Mrobeymenow responds:

Thanks for the review! I really appreciate it. I'm glad you thought my drums were good, that's something you get little review on and is hard to know whether people like them. Also on you vocals comment I agree and in my current WIP I do have vocals in places to give some effects. Although I didn't agree with the sound of 90 nails on a blackboard, it was written in good enough detail it's kind of hard to get mad at. Thanks for the help!

[Mountains to Climb]

It's quite an engaging piano piece and without going around "what could have been" scenarios too much, I'm simply going to say that you have a lot of potential in your hands to become the next Audiomachine.

Let's be honest, this piano by itself conceals a kind of power that could have been fully expressed by an orchestra, not really because the instrument itself is not capable of replacing an entire hall, but at the current state of things, it's not offering much.

Experimenting with chord progressions is surely a good expedient to build a basic structure for your piece, but sometimes it's not everything in a song, and while the dissonance in some clashing chords may give your piano an interesting sound, I think you could have played with other dynamics as well.

In fact you immediately start with a driving riff at a moderate volume and then it gets marcato at around 20 seconds in the piece. If it were intended to be a slow building piano, I would have started with a minimal pattern at a pianissimo intensity and then let it grow gradually in intensity so that it gives plenty of contrast. Here I think there's minimal contrast because as a whole, the piece is pretty homogeneous in both intensity and melody.

Overall, it's still a nice effort that quite matches the artwork of choice.
//FD

[Ocean View]

It's definitely not what I'd consider a bad effort at all, and it manages to be enjoyable in its simplicity. I think it would be rather inappropriate to judge a song just by the samples used, although the quality of the samples themselves may bring some more immersion in a melody or an atmosphere or whatever else you can think of. It's also true that one can have the best samples in the world and still make something flat and unoriginal, so it's kind of a "touchy" matter shrouded in subjectivity.

Nonetheless, it's a pretty chill track that doesn't strive for complicated structures or over-the-top melodies, it's really what you hear is what you get. So why am I giving 3.5 stars? Well, first of all I would have loved some variation on the theme, perhaps by introducing other melodies and counter-melodies, something that also created harmony between the instruments and didn't just limit themselves to duel in different octaves.

More background ambiances and synths would have felt nice since it's already a pretty ambient-oriented sound and perhaps a watery atmosphere could have enhanced the basic structure of this piece. The sound effects used are nice and they do give an ocean-like feel that also help smoothing the transitions between each section.

I suggest you to just try achieving a more engaging sound while keeping the simple approach you've used for this piece, and try bringing slightly more variations on both the melody and instrumentation. Overall, nice work.

//FD

[Life]

Without going around what has already been said: I think it's a somewhat enjoyable track with a grotesque atmosphere reminding me of a demented circus or an abusement park. The song doesn't really pick up until around 1:55 when more synths are introduced. The piece as a whole may work as a background music for some video game perhaps, but I wish it would offer more than a single melody stretched for almost four minutes.

It's not a bad piece, but there are details I think you could take into consideration for the future. The structure per se isn't exactly the solidest I've listened to so far but it's working, and if you played around your main melody and built variations on it, it would have made your track more interesting and less "burdening" in terms of catching the listener's attention. A bass line would have helped keeping things a little more engaging, even if it were just a pulsating four-on-the-floor bass countering the kick drum.

Consider this as a start for more similar ideas that could flourish in your mind.
//FD

[MechanicalRonin]

While I enjoyed the dark vibes you provided, I feel like this piece needs some more polish and examination. The drum work is still remarkable and it's probably the best part of the song, but I wish you offered something more than that, like more background synths and rhythmic/sequenced synths, because the atmosphere by itself isn't bad but I wish you'd developed it further.

The bass could have been more present in the mix and slightly more distorted since the general mood is supposed to be ominous and dark. What about more hints at traditional Japanese music, like a shakuhachi sample or woodblocks? The shamisen you used kinda reminds me of Photek but it honestly gets quite repetitive after a while if it weren't for the ever-evolving drums.

Overall, it's still an enjoyable piece, if quite straight to the point and somewhat fitting of your art choice.
//FD

YouriX responds:

Yeah i geuss i spent a tad more time on my drums hahaha! xD
I guess was way to much in to my drums that i centerd the song around it. I shuld have added more layers and sounds. But just like you i liked the song for what it is. :D

[Spirit Realm]

I don't think this piece is terrible and in fact it does have a good structure and a somewhat melodic base, while the atmosphere's a bit lacking. I think the piano could have needed more reverb in order to bring out a spacey, chill atmosphere because right now it feels rather dry and in terms of expression, and it honestly doesn't really offer much at the end of the day.

The wobbling bass while it's exactly not the best in the field does its job decently, although I would have loved some more variations and perhaps more grit and distortion to bring it more character and presence in the mix. The mastering is performed well with only very minor issues relative to limiting/compression, but it's somewhat tolerable.

Now the synths that play the various chords could have been in my opinion brighter and less prominent in the mix, in order to leave some breathing space for more background instruments like a sidechained pad and rhythmic/sequenced synths. I have nothing really to point out about the drums, there's a good "punch" and even the snare that could feel week at a first glance, at the current state of things can fit well. Maybe the hats could have had more of a presence since the high end feels kind of empty, along with the crash cymbal, but they're otherwise well programmed.

//FD

Jayk-O responds:

Thank you!! I've actually learned how to better my song after this.
I'll keep these concepts in mind :)